This is as good a time as any to let you know about an event occurring in Buena Vista this fall. Although, since the attendance is anticipated to be one person, I am not obligated to inform you.

My business, Nate’s Noxious Noises, LLC, in cooperation with my non-profit, Fairway Drive Arts & Trust, will be renting a portion of Fairway Drive from the Collegiate Peaks Road Maintenance Association, Inc.

I will be erecting scaffolding and placing on the scaffolds five of the biggest speakers I can find, powered by generators. I plan to play techno and mariachi music from 10 a.m. to midnight for 2 days straight. Anticipated sound power levels will be approximately 110-120 dB(C).

Since I have an exemption under CRS 25-12-103(11), it really doesn’t matter, I can make it as loud as I want. I will have one neighbor come by and I’ll be charging him $10 to sustain permanent hearing damage. Of that $10, I’ll be graciously donating ten cents to my non-profit. I’ve decided the best timing for this event would be Sept. 24-25.

Now, of course, I would never do this because I am a respectful neighbor and this residential area is no place for loud music like a concert, but under your interpretation of the Colorado Noise Abatement Statute, there is nothing stopping me from doing it.

I’d like to hear from you (during the public hearing, of course) how this makes any sense.

Nate Jones

Buena Vista

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